


strawberry cream pink

by Layni1771



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: But don't tell him that, Fluff, Getting Together, Han Jisung Is Whipped, Han Jisung is an Idiot, Kisses, Late Night Conversations, Light Angst, M/M, Romance, Seo Changbin is a Good Friend, Yang Jeongin Deserves Better, guys it's actually just soft, i love this pairing sue me, in the second part, it's okay it's actually so cute, jisung is a fool that does not realize how gay he is, teach me how to tag though, this is actually sugar sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-13
Updated: 2018-07-19
Packaged: 2019-06-09 22:24:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15277470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Layni1771/pseuds/Layni1771
Summary: Jisung just likes kissing Jeongin.OrJisung apparently thinks it's normal to like kissing your best friend this much.





	1. Part One

**Author's Note:**

> Y'all this fic is just soft and fluffy even with the gay confusion in the second part I really liked writing it, haha. None of my angsty fics are turning out well right now, I am terribly unsatisfied and thus not posting any of them, so I'm glad I had something light-hearted ready to post! I know this first part is short but the second one is much longer! Anyway, my fingers are finally fully healed so! I can go back to writing regularly~ <3  
> Okay but Jisung/Jeongin is such a good ship I love them together sooo much.  
> Also guys I really love comments so don't be afraid to leave them! <3 They make my day and inspire me to write more! Plus I love interacting with you all and comments are a great way to do that. :)

Jisung just likes kissing Jeongin\- There isn't really anything else to it. He likes pressing their pillowy lips together and lightly dancing against each other just for the fun of it. It's comfortable and soft and tastes nice unless Jeongin has eaten something gross, which is entirely possible. Kissing his best friend is just normal for him, so he doesn't see why Hyunjin shakes his head and Chan sighs softly in disappointment when he expresses this. The only con to kissing Jeongin is the way the younger's braces sometimes bust his lip, so he really doesn't get why everyone else acts like it's some sort of problem. Jeongin certainly doesn't stop him, instead offering a shy, cute smile each time and occasionally snuggling closely to his side.

If Jeongin doesn't mind, then why should Jisung stop?

Actually, Jisung doesn't quite remember starting, either, now that he's thinking about it. When did he stop going for the younger's (Surprisingly sharp) cheeks and going for his strawberry cream pink lips? It takes a lot of pouting at the faded green wall in front of him until Jisung thinks he remembers one day after all nine of them were told they got to debut together. He was running the lyrics to 4419 in his head as they planned to record them, and Jeongin was by his side as he tried out the lines that had been distributed to him. Jisung sort of remembers thinking that he looked really pretty and he didn't like the way that Jeongin's teeth caught his bottom lip after he delivered the lyrics in a way he didn't like. He also sort of recalls grasping Jeongin's chin and turning the maknae's face towards him, pressing their lips together with enough force that Jeongin's lip left the unforgiving grasp of his teeth.

Then he pulled back, licked his own lips that tasted like Jeongin's pear chapstick, and went back to running over his own lyrics, vocally this time instead of just in his head.

Yeah, he thinks that was the first time. Jisung is pretty sure it just sort of continued from there, him always acting on the urge to just kiss Jeongin when he sees him. It's not like it's all the time- Just when he's doing something that particularly makes Jisung go _Wow, I wanna kiss him again_. Like when he laughs really hard after he hears a funny joke, or when he's half-asleep on the couch they finally got in the dorm, or when he's pouting and whiny.

Oh, but that's not true either, Jisung realizes, because sometimes he just kisses Jeongin to feel his lips. He really does like the feeling. They're always soft with some sort of chapstick, normally the pear one, and they don't fit quite perfectly with his own but they're close enough. Jeongin isn't half-bad at kissing either, no- Jisung actually rather likes when he responds, because he is perfectly sweet and gentle with the whole thing. Those types of kisses suit him, even if he has an attitude the size of the Asian continent. Something about them still fit the sort of innocent child he is underneath this forced growing-up they are all going through. He's still just a young high school boy who is clumsy at some things and likes to play games and make dumb faces.

His kisses fit that narrative quite a lot, and Jisung likes it. Maybe that's why he likes kissing Jeongin so much- It reminds him that they're still just teenagers in this place. He doesn't know and actually, Jisung doesn't really care because he doesn't want to stop tasting the lightly sweet strawberry cream pink lips and he doesn't think he will unless Jeongin asks him to. With that thought in mind, Jisung slaps his knees and stands up, exiting the small room he has been sitting in to write lyrics. He isn't being productive enough now that he has the youngest's lips on his mind and he needs to go put this to rest with another kiss so he can get back to work.

Jeongin is with Felix, Minho, and Seungmin when he walks into the practice room. It looks like they have just been going over some choreography, because all except Minho are very sweaty and breathless. Minho is never like that after a practice, unlike Felix and Hyunjin even though they're also part of the dance line. Jisung thinks it must be some sort of special secret main dancer power and doesn't bother asking how. Either way, all eyes turn towards him as he walks in, but he pays the other three no mind. No, he makes a beeline for Jeongin and kneels in front of where he is sitting on the ground, twists one hand in his white T-shirt, wraps one hand around the back of his sweaty, gross neck, and presses their lips together for the millionth time. Jeongin squeaks a bit in surprise as Jisung pretty much crawls into his lap, his hands fluttering and hovering uselessly above Jisung's body before they finally settle around his neck.

They are not really wrestling because he doesn't really like that, and he doesn't think the vocalist does either. Instead, they are more caressing each other's mouths, Jeongin's head tilting just a bit to the left like Jisung has learned he does when he's particularly pleased with a kiss. He can feel that Jeongin has just applied that pear chapstick because it is smearing against his own lips, coating them with an almost waxy feeling. There is sweat on the maknae's upper lip that is also unfortunately transferring to him, and he can feel the damp heat emanating from his tired, overworked body. It's not the most pleasant thing to feel, especially because he thinks the hard practice room floor is hitting the bruises on his knees again, but the softness of Jeongin's jaw under his fingertips is really nice.

He parts from the younger who looks at him with wide, sort of watery eyes and Jisung cannot help but lean in and peck his lips one, two, three more times before he sits back, now out of Jeongin's lap. He runs a hand through his hair, satisfied.

"That's better," Jisung says, and Minho scoffs, pushing him.

"Get the fuck out of here, lover boy, I'm trying to let the kids catch their breaths before dancing again, and that's not going to happen if you kiss the baby breathless," And honestly Jeongin does looks a little more out of breath than when he came in, cheeks flushed a dusty pink and chest rising and falling rapidly. It makes him smile and this time he leans forward to run a hand through his best friend's sweaty hair. It's gross, but it's Jeongin's so Jisung doesn't mind. The boy offers him that shy, braces-filled smile as he peeks up and it only makes Jisung's grin grow.

He opens his mouth to speak, but Felix's foot connects with his leg and he nearly tips over.

"Out," Minho repeats, and Jisung stands, pouting as he bids Seungmin and Jeongin farewell, because they are not traitors like Minho and Felix. He pads out of the room, his head much clearer than when he walked in. His fingertips linger over his chapstick-smeared lips and he nods as he walks back to the room he was working in before his mind was too wrapped up in Yang Jeongin and their shared kisses.

Yes, kissing his best friend is just a thing that happens, and Jisung likes it a lot.


	2. Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jisung realizes that kissing Jeongin has some unintended side-effects, namely that he somehow gets fallen-in-love with?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is Jisung being a confused gay not gonna lie.  
> A n y w a y, this is less fluffy and more angsty but I promise it does end fluffy because !! I wanted it to be. Honestly, this was originally only the first chapter and then I got bored a few days later and typed up the much-longer second part. Remind me to come back and water this tag again sometime, we need more fics with this ship, it's so precious.  
> (Y'all the quality of my writing varies so much from fic to fic why am I so inconsistent send help.)  
> Once again, this is not proofread for mistakes, so I apologize in advance! I hope you enjoy!

The problem occurs to Jisung suddenly one evening in the dorm. He has just finished kissing Jeongin again, leaving the younger's lips bright red and shining because Jisung might have taken it a little farther than normal. The boy looks dazed and he runs his hand through his hair, leaving his forehead exposed. He doesn't think much of this encounter because they are in the dorm alone and, well, he just _really_ wanted to kiss their youngest so he sort of pressed him against the couch and did so, but it's what comes after that strikes fear in his heart. Jeongin swallows and looks at his hands as he plays with his fingers in his lap, and Jisung is smiling fondly at his best friend's endearing little habit. That's all good and well, but when he speaks, the rapper realizes something might be wrong there.

"I...I love you, hyung," Jeongin says in a small, sweet voice and instinctively Jisung goes to reply in kind because he loves _all_ of the members and he tells them that all the time, but then he catches the pink blush on the maknae's cheeks and the way his eyes are darting across his face as though he is searching for Jisung's reaction. He suddenly understands that this is like a _confession_ , and he jerks back a bit, eyebrows turning down. It does not escape his notice that his reaction has made Jeongin's complexion take on a white-ish hue and that the fingers are no longer playing but are squeezing each other until they lose all color.

Jisung doesn't know what to do because he never once imagined this being a...A _side-effect_ of their kissing. He has thought this whole time that the thing was just a sort of mutual "I like kissing you and you like kissing me because we're friends" thing, not...Not a _feelings_ thing. Panic builds up in his chest because there is confusion and horror written all over Jeongin and he scrambles off the couch this time, stuttering and looking at anywhere but the vocalist because this was never in his plans.

"Hyung...?" Jeongin asks weakly, and it is enough to have his wide eyes snapping back to meet the other's fox-like ones. He is shaking his head rapidly and he just _watches_ as his best friend's face crumbles, "O-oh. I uh, just thought- Never mind, I'm sorry hyung, I'll just- Be in the room."

Jeongin wraps his arms around himself and gives Jisung a wide berth as he escapes to the hallway and to their shared bedroom, and it's way too hard for him to pretend he doesn't see the building tears in the maknae's eyes as he makes his retreat. His heart is twisting and pounding because that's _his best friend crying_ , but now he also feels awkward and guilty and ashamed and he gets it. He gets why everyone was acting like it was a problem when he said he kissed Jeongin just because they're friends and he likes it. Jisung sees why Hyunjin shakes his head and Chan sighs in disappointment, why Woojin gives him such strange looks and Changbin has a habit of pulling Jeongin away to talk after their kisses. Jisung _understands_ now and he pretty much feels like shit because he has been giving Jeongin all the wrong signals, because...

Jisung does not like Jeongin romantically. At all. The thought has never once crossed his mind until he hears this confession of his, and even then, it just leaves a weird, fluttering feeling in his stomach and that can't mean anything good. He collapses onto the couch, burying his stupid face in his hands. He's clueless, he realizes, because these kisses have meant so much more to his best friend than they have to him. To Jisung they have been a passing pleasure, but to Jeongin they meant _romantic affection_ and all of that fluffy rainbow stuff he couldn't make any sense of.

"Aw, what the hell Jisung. What the _hell_ , man," He scolds himself, but he's whispering because voices carry well in the dorm. He wonders if Jeongin is shedding those tears he saw building when he took his leave and the very thought makes his whole body tighten and begin to ache because yeah, he loves him- He is their precious member, their youngest, Jisung's best friend and the one he fought so hard to keep by his side during their show. He didn't want to let Jeongin go, and they worked super hard on the three-three-three mission together, so it's no surprise that the boy means so much to him. Jisung honestly hates himself in that moment, because he has hurt little Jeongin who is growing up way too soon, and his head thuds against the wall as he realizes he will have to live without feeling those pillowy strawberry cream pink lips that taste like pear chapstick for the rest of his life.

Jeongin deserves better than to have his feelings played with any more than they already have been.

When the others return, it is late and the first question Jisung asks is if he can stay in Chan and Changbin's room for the night. He has not seen Jeongin since the vocalist disappeared into their bedroom hours before and he doesn't have the courage to step inside of the room. He thinks he might not have the right, but it doesn't make his heart hurt any less as he cuddles up to Chan's broad chest and thinks of his closest friend again.

His sleep is undeniably restless, but that suits Chan just fine because he hardly sleeps most nights anyway.

What Jisung really hates though is that in the morning it is completely obvious that something has shifted between the two of them. Jeongin won't meet his eyes and Jisung keeps looking at him with this terrible expression he can't seem to wipe off his face, and he has seen members pull the maknae aside and he has been pulled to be asked about it, he doesn't say anything and it doesn't seem like Jeongin does either. Breakfast is awkward and he sort of wants to drown himself in the jasmine tea he is downing. Everyone is looking at them out of the corners of their eyes and Chan is trying to break up the atmosphere by being energetic. Seungmin, too, is playing along.

"And then the rap teacher totally face-planted. It was amazing," Chan finishes his completely pointless and not-so-funny anecdote. Jisung doesn't laugh at all and instead shoves another bite of yogurt down his throat. Seungmin's fake laughter is painful, and Jisung wishes they didn't have group schedules today. If the school line could just _go to school_ so Jisung didn't have to _look at Jeongin_ , that would be great, but that's not in the cards today. His cheeks burn again as he recalls the incident, the one where he was absolutely a fool, and Jisung leans just a little bit closer to Felix, who subtly rubs his back. Felix may be a traitor a good ninety-four percent of the time, but he's a good friend and doesn't even ask.

Jisung is so grateful for him in that moment, because when he looks at Jeongin yet again, the maknae is lifelessly poking at his plate and it hurts so much he sort of feels like crying. The rapper attempts to ignore Woojin's careful encouragements for the boy to eat. They're too much for him, because it's all.

His.

Fault.

Things remain the same for days, and it grates on everyone's nerves. The team is awkward and shaken up, like nothing they had seen or felt before. Jisung cannot bring himself to smile or laugh off the jokes that he is always the butt of, and Jeongin's unsmiling eyes come off too strongly but it's like he's trying to melt away where no one can see him. Jisung can hardly believe that he is the cause of all this, but the stress between his and Jeongin's relationship is getting to every member. Minho is less patient in correcting the same points of choreography over and over, Chan is more critical on every aspect of performance, Seungmin can hardly go a few minutes without throwing out some comment that actually offends someone, Felix's Korean seems to actually be _regressing_ instead of improving- The list goes on and on. Jisung wishes he wasn't such a fool.

He just...It was just kissing. That's all. But to Jeongin it was more, and that embarrasses him. He has to be the dumbest person in the world, actually, to have not seen something like this coming. Who just lets their best friend kiss them if they don't have feelings for them?

 _Who just kisses their best friend?_ His mind whispers.

 _Shut up_ , he replies to himself. He is not amused. Jisung is mad at himself for all of that, and he is mad at himself for continuing to think of the pleasant pressure of Jeongin's lips on his own. But he just can't help it- Their kisses are something amazing, something comforting when the times are tough and something just so _happy_ when there is no particular reason to kiss other than that Jeongin simply made him want to do it. Jisung feels something so nice when his best friend is so physically close to him, their lips fitting together and moving with the sole purpose of making each other happy, to find some sort of soft gratification in their days. It's light in his fingertips and a bright memory in his mind. Jeongin's presence has always done something amazing for him, and so Jisung fucking sucks.

This is where his conclusion always leads him. He sucks.

It seems like Changbin agrees, because maybe a week, a week and a half later, Jisung is being pulled into the older's room and pushed towards the bed. Changbin may be physically smaller than him, but he is still intimidating when he wants to be. Forget "Baby Changbin," the rapper is a whole terror when he has a purpose. Jisung swallows and tugs at the zipper of his hoodie. It's scratching at his throat.

"What happened with you and Jeongin? I was going to let you guys figure it out like the hyungs said to, but this is getting ridiculous. You're best friends, so what the hell are you doing?" Changbin's words are more forceful than his tone, actually, but the combination is still deadly effective. Jisung's known Changbin for quite some time, the rapper who knocked him down a few pegs, one third of 3RACHA, his family- He can't really help but spill his fuck-ups out to the older.

"He told me he loved me!" Jisung exclaims it way too loudly and slaps a hand over his mouth, quieting down with the next words, "He didn't mean it in the friend way and like. What the fuck? It scared me. I didn't know what to do. How was I supposed to know? I never, I never kissed him while thinking of him like that hyung, okay? So if those weren't my intentions how was I supposed to just magically know they were his? Like, I kiss Jeongin because it's nice. I like it. We're best friends. I like his pear chapstick and that his lips are pink like strawberry cream and they're all pillowy and normally soft. It's _nice_ , hyung, and I want to kiss him because it's like we're still kids. I just want to be _me_ and him to be _him_ , and I don't know, kissing Jeongin just sort of did that? I didn't know he felt like that. I didn't."

Changbin lets him rant. He doesn't interrupt him, he doesn't make any faces or sigh or make Jisung feel like any more of an idiot than he already does. Until he opened up, Jisung didn't realize how upset he really was over the situation. He has spent all of this time just worrying about Jeongin and everyone else, and he has forgotten about himself. Jisung has feelings too, he has angst that he feels over this all, but apparently he's doing that dumb selfless thing that Chan scolds him for and Changbin had seen it. He sighs, sinking into the bed. He feels exhausted. _That's right._ Jisung is allowed to feel upset over what happened to. His feelings are valid, and Changbin only solidifies this belief when he sits next to the flopped-down teen and runs his fingers through Jisung's hair.

"I'm sorry it scared you," Changbin begins, though Jisung can, like, literally feel the _but_ coming, "Though maybe you should have thought it through more? I mean, what is Jeongin supposed to think when you start kissing him out of nowhere? Most people wouldn't do that unless they had feelings for the other person. I'm not saying you hurt Jeongin on purpose, but I don't think you really thought what it was like from his perspective. A hyung he really values and looks up to giving him special attention like that? It would be different if you kissed all of us, but it was only ever him. Have you ever wondered why?"

"...No," Jisung whispers. Changbin isn't making him feel guilty, but rather explaining everything Jisung already knows in less self-depreciating terms and honestly it helps so much. He _feels_ better, talking it through like this. It makes it easier to understand.

"Do you want to try kissing me?" The older offers, and Jisung chokes. Like, _chokes_. He sits straight up, ringing a hand around his throat as he coughs to try and get rid of the feeling of choking on his own saliva. His bandmate is watching him carefully, and once he seems to settle down, continues, "To see how different it feels from Jeongin. Maybe see if it's something you'd do with the rest of the guys?"

"I mean, like..." Jisung is dubious. What will kissing Changbin accomplish? But he also trusts the rapper with his life, so he nods after a small pause. He has never led Jisung wrong before, and so he is not afraid when he feels his friend's hand cup the side of his face and bring their lips together. It's a curious feeling, actually- Changbin's lips are much different from Jeongin's. A little rough, and a much different shape. There are no braces pushing behind them, either, but they leave a nice tingling that Jisung thinks is from mint lip balm. Changbin kisses with much more experience than Jeongin, too, and it's way comfier in that aspect. There isn't as much as uncertainty or a need to experiment- The other knows just how to move and touch Jisung during the kiss to make it nice for the both of them.

It isn't lengthy, no. Jisung takes just the amount of time he needs to in order to compare it to kisses with their youngest before he pulls back, briefly licking his lips. Mint lip balm for sure. Changbin doesn't seem phased in the slightest, raising a brow and tilting his head.

"How is it different? Not the technical stuff, the way _you_ actually felt," Jisung isn't sure where this is going still, "I mean it. I want you to tell me the feelings you get when you kiss Jeongin compared to kissing me."

"Well...Kissing Jeongin is sort of like a fluttery, bright feeling. Like, it makes my toes curl? But I dunno, it just sort of was a nice kiss when I kissed you," He pouts, slumping back on the bed, "It was like kissing anyone else I've kissed."

"Except for Jeongin."

"Except for Jeongin," Jisung confirms, "Why?"

"I'm not like the others, I'm not gonna sit here and let you be an idiot, Sung. I'm pretty certain that you like Jeongin, too," Changbin says. Part of him is angry that he's being called an idiot again, and the rest is a large ball of confusion because...

"Ha, _what_?" The bit of his brain that's been poking at him is now scratching at his skull and Jisung runs a hand through his hair to distract from the feeling. Changbin chooses not to reply and waits for him to sort through his own thoughts. Okay, fine. He can think this through. He tangles his fingers with his fellow member's, and considers it. Jisung's first crush was on his kindergarten teacher. She was young and nice and snuck him an extra orange slice when he didn't get too loud during class. His second crush was his seatmate in second grade, but she cut his hair with scissors and made him cry. Jisung's supposes that by the way he felt when he called those two his crushes, that his third crush was his best friend in third grade, a boy named Minsuk. Which, he's never considered before but it makes sense. He liked holding Minsuk's hand as a kid and they always played together. He even recalls kissing his cheek.

Okay, so apparently Jisung has liked boys in the past. Great. That's awesome, it doesn't bother him, but does that really mean that he likes Jeongin? Jeongin is his dearest friend and he doesn't want to do anything to change that. It's scary to think about, especially because they've just debuted. He doesn't want to the group to fall apart, but like this, isn't it already? He swallows, scratching at his throat.

"Hyung, I really don't know if..." His eyes are getting teary now, and Changbin sighs, thumbing them away, "I'm so _confused_."

"Jisung, I can't tell you what it feels like. Love is different for everyone, every single time. The way it is to me, isn't going to be the way it is to you. Let me ask you this- Can you imagine your future without Jeongin in it?" Immediately, Jisung shakes his head.

"But I can't imagine my future without _any_ of you in it," He shivers, "We came close back then, and I..."

There is silence as they stew over the emotions of the eliminations in their survival show. It's heavy and upsetting, but the older rapper clears his throat.

"Think over it again, Jisung."

The next morning, he finds himself on the balcony next to Jeongin. It can hardly be called morning- The sun isn't anywhere near rising, and they should both be asleep. But Jisung has been tossing and turning for hours now, eyes wide open in the small, shared bedroom. When Jeongin gets up and leaves, he feels the pull to follow him, and he does. The maknae looks really pretty in the scenery like that. His cheeks shine like moon dust in the pale glow of nearby signs, and his silhouette compliments the city in the dark. Jisung sighs and it catches Jeongin's attention- He looks back with dark-colored eyes, but the rings around them are just as dark and Jisung winces. He knows it's not all his fault. Their schedule has been too hard on all of them, but he knows he is added stress on the boy. And he can't let it be like that any longer. He steps out of the doorway and leans against the railing next to Jeongin, who is gazing at him apprehensively.

"Hey, Jeonginnie," Jisung tries for a half-smile, "I'm not gonna mess around. I'm sorry for what happened. I shouldn't have led you on like that, or rejected you without even speaking. That was unnecessarily cruel, even for a dumbass like me."

"It's okay, hyung. I shouldn't have assumed anything. I just thought..." Jeongin looks down at his fingers with a watery grin, "Yeah. Sorry. I thought wrong and then I took it out on you."

Jisung takes a deep breath, "I don't think you thought wrong though. Maybe you were just ahead of hyung on this one, Innie. You know how I am."

Jeongin doesn't speak.

"You don't have to forgive me. I hurt you, so I don't blame you if you don't want me anymore, but I just wanted you to kno-" Jisung is far too surprised when Jeongin kisses him. He isn't expecting the pretty fingers that grasp at his pajama shirt sleeves, the way Jeongin's chest presses to his oh so warmly, how his normally-shy lips are instead taking the lead against his own still ones. There isn't any pear chapstick, because it's like two a.m. and Jisung can feel the dryness scratching against him. He really likes it all anyway. He feels so fond on the boy that is trying to imprint himself all over Jisung so he can never forget how they feel together. He supposes this is probably what Changbin meant when he said it was different, because he can't imagine a future where Jeongin doesn't stay as close to him as he is now. Jisung savors the sweet pressure, even if their kiss doesn't taste too nice because it's been hours since they brushed their teeth for bed.

Regardless, Jisung really likes it. The strawberry cream pink lips belong to someone even sweeter than their color, and he's a fool, sure. Sometimes Jisung just needs a little push in the right direction. But he isn't one to not try and make up for a wrong he has committed. So when they pull back, chests heaving, Jisung presses their foreheads together and says, "I love you, Jeongin."

And he definitely does.


End file.
